I wish

that I didn't have to leave. I leave in less than 15 hours and I'm still not packed or ready to go. Man. I DO NOT wanna go. It feels like I have too much going on for me right now to have to get away from it. It just kills me to have to go. Like having to leave all my people is basically what hurts the most. And missing a whole last week of break to kick it with them. Wow. It's funny cause last time I went somewhere far, I could've cared less who I left behind. I'm guessing it's probably because I had no one to miss. And now that I have like the greatest friends in the world, I don't wanna leave them now. Which makes me now realize. All of my good friends are just a bunch of church kids. And there ain't no shame in that. But yeah. I guess I only hang with UTC kids now. lol. I would've never seen this coming about 6 months ago. You'd just have to understand me as a person to really know what it means for me to leave. Cause I don't know. Like back in the day, like a year ago lol, I honestly believed I had no friends. It was like Wtf am i doing with my life? I have no people to kick it with and there's no one here that's down for me. Like all I do is workout with the football team, go home and do homework and be on the computer for no reason because there's no one to talk to. Oh and when i had nothing to do, i'd head over to the park afterschool or on the weekends and play basketball by myself since my homies have better things to do. So yeah. I'm being hella emo right now. Lol sorry. But forreals though. That's exactly why God is my Savior. He picked me up from whatever I thought I was going through and introduced me to people that have now changed my life forever. Whatever. I'm gonna miss EVERYTHING though. Like how me and the boys play basketball in the mornings. I'll miss the UTC meetings for sure. I'm gonna miss going to mass on Sundays with my peoples. I'll miss all the brothers and sisters. I'll miss my car. I'll miss all the laughs I get when I'm with my people. I'll hella miss my boo boo bear and her smile. =\ I'll miss Thursday core meetings. I'll miss watching basketball and football. which makes me now realize I'm probably gonna miss all of football playoffs... I'll miss my bed. I'll miss talking on the phone. I'll miss texting people. I'll miss my music. I'll miss my Wii. I'll miss In N Out. I'll miss the park. I'll miss my friends making me smile and feel good like 24/7. (no matter how gay that sounds.)

So all I'm really trying to say is that I'm gonna really miss all my people out there. And none of them have any idea how much. Like even though it's pretty gay, I could cry right now at the thought of me having to leave them. And yeah I know it's only 3 weeks, but that's pretty long to me, and it feels like these are the most important 3 weeks for me right now. I don't know why, but it does. Yeah. It just kinda sucks that I have to go out like this. And on top of all of that, I have to miss school, which i'm already slipping in. Whatever. Hopefully I eventually am happy that i'm going. I'm still looking for one good reason i should be going besides seeing a whole bunch of family and idk why im not excited for that. I'm wishing that I can go and help GK with Joanne, but that doesn't look likely right now. But I'm gonna be praying and asking God to help me get through this really though time and I'm gonna ask everyone out there to pray for me as well cause I really need His strength right now. So I'm just gonna end it here. Everyone take care and just watch over yourselves while i'm gone. lol. Hopefully no one forgets about me? =)
Byeee everyone.